Halloween

To whoever reads this, Happy Halloween. As it falls on a Saturday this year, I'm sure that the NYPD are having just as much fun as the kids.

I like Halloween, which is more than I can say for most holidays that revolve around candy. I've always liked it, it gave me a chance to be someone else for a while. Someone more fun, someone fantastic. It gave me a way out of my monotony. I'm a geek, and always have been, so the costumes I remember best are Beetlejuice, a random Star Trek officer, and Hagrid (as an adult). Each is so far removed from myself for that one day that I couldn't be more pleased to be them for a time. This year I chaperoned one of my brothers in his candy hunting, and my costume was: myself, with a shovel.

I told the people that asked that I was a gravedigger, as this gives me an excuse to carry one with me. The practicality of it allows me to protect my brother should anyone want to start trouble, as well as not really need to change at all. Yesterday, I was a pirate. The only real difference is an eye patch.

I don't want to be removed from myself anymore, over however long it's taken, I've come to like who I am enough not to want to be someone else, even for a day. I wanted a costume that was similar to myself, but none seem to really exist. So, I got around this problem.

Really, the holiday's only alive these days to sustain candy and costume companies (I'm sure they supply many jobs. There's an idea - make up a new bullshit holiday with a lot of stuff involved, have new jobs to make all that stuff. Economy's saved!), but it goes much deeper than that when it comes to feeding a child's imagination [good thing] and the level of apathetic escapism in adults [bad thing].

There's a reason why so many women show up to Halloween parties looking like they crawled out of a bad porno film. There's a reason why so many men model themselves after the punchlines to jokes they told when they were twelve. Attention through being someone else for the day. Don't find yourself attractive in some way? Today's the day you can turn all that around (for a day)! Wear that foam suit that makes you into a "fart detector," wear that cleavage-inducing corset that you wouldn't even see in a Renaissance Faire. Women love guys that are funny, guys love women with big tits. Instant appeal!

Fuck you. You're ruining the spirit of the day. You're nearly as bad as the people that slip razor blades into Carmel apples and give me reason to chaperon with a shovel.

This isn't to say that all costumes are out of spirit, or even to say that all of the costumes that might fall occasionally into the category above are bad. It's the intention that matters. Not to hurt any one's already fragile self esteem, but seriously. Instead of pretending to be something you're not, why not become something you'd rather be?

We all pick our costumes because there's a trait somewhere that we identify with, and many more that we wish we had. You like that the hero in some story is brave and rugged, and they have the same snarky sense of humor you do. Why not try things you're afraid of? Why not work on overcoming your own apprehension?

Happy Halloween kids. Check your candy before you eat it.